Bittersweet perspective

One of the truest things I have come to know about motherhood is that the days can feel like years, while the years go by like days.  Early motherhood was not easy for me.  I started out with no pram, no cot but a homemade sling, a pile of flat cloth nappies I had made myself in bright pink cow print, and oodles of idealism.  When told we couldn't be released from hospital unless we had a car seat installed, we said no problem - we were going home with the baby in a sling on the train!

It wasn't easy though.  I struggled with no sleep and being in the middle of my degree, the frustration of my life being on hold for this tiny, irrational being who inspired such terrifying extremes of emotion.  Old ladies would stop me and between reprimanding me for not dressing my child warmly enough, instruct me to "treasure these times, they grow so fast".  I would only nod in a sleep-deprived haze and had no idea what they were talking about.

When I moved to the western suburbs, I hardly knew anyone.  Days would stretch out in seemingly interminable boredom.  Then I found Hausfrau and nearby Fels Park.  Now the parks throughout the municipality are being upgraded, but many used to be pretty crappy five years ago.  Modern Fels Park was always guaranteed to be full and you could perch on the sandpit and have someone to talk to, even if it was nothing more than that banal, ritualistic "And how old is she?" question.  I guess "how many times have you lost it so far today?" is a bit personal!

So Hausfrau was a refuge for me during those times.  It is grown up enough to feel like you are not totally compromising yourself in the cafe equivalent of a McDonalds playground.  The coffee is old-school Genovese and usually great (the boss, in pink Euro housewife-chic kerchief, makes the best coffee).

I love their mini cakes which are perfect, just enough for a child or an adult, especially when you are still wearing threadbare maternity clothes a year later!

Hausfrau helped a lot and things got better.  My babies turned into curious, delightful toddlers and funny, effervescent preschoolers.  I met wonderful, like-minded people and made an amazing community here in Footscray.

My children still frustrate me.  I lament the lack of spontaneity, endless sisyphean cleaning and a feeling of moving through molasses, that it takes so long to cook a meal or leave the house.  I still complain about stupid things.  Then suddenly an incredibly brave friend's baby daughter is diagnosed with leukaemia and everything just seems to fall away in total insignificance.

J, it is all so unfair.  You are so positive and always have been through everything.  When you are ready for a coffee and cake delivery (mini or maxi!), just call.