Sunshine Devonshire House Tea Rooms

Now, I love a good burger.  But back when I first started eating burgers, "brioche" was a mythical food that only existed in French class - like Orangina.  Jal-a-peenos?  What the bloody hell is that?  Pass me the tinned beetroot and pineapple.  Pickles?  Those things only existed at Macca's, and for the sole purpose of throwing them against the wall.

And don't get me started on the prices.  We found one in Carlton the other day that had hit fifteen bucks, made all the more insulting to this dinky-diehard by being on a damper roll.  (I haven't had this burger.  I'm sure it's lovely.  But $15?!)

What if I told you I could time-travel you back to 1989?  What's the first thing you would do?

Meet Sunshine's Devonshire House tea rooms, your friendly local teleportal back in time.  It's a charitable venture of the Uniting Church in which it is housed.  According to the pseudo-gothic wording on the wall:  "Devonshire House is a venture of social concern instituted by the Sunshine Methodist Church.  It is in the main staffed and maintained by volunteers.  If any profit is gained it will be directed to youth and welfare services in the area".

All good, although how ANY profit could be gained from these prices beggars belief.  CHECK.  THEM.  OUT.  Sausages, egg n' chips for $5.50?  Soup, five bucks?  A "tomato and bacon special", which is certainly worth taking a punt on for a mere seven dineros?

Here's your lovely hamburger & salad ($7!) with a small side of chips ($1.20!)  The salad!  The cheese triangles, tinned beetroot, hardboiled egg and iceberg!  The tinned pineapple chunks!  Bless their cotton socks.

And here's mine - a "baconburger" and chips ($8.50!  Yes, every price hereafter mentioned includes an exclamation mark).  Behold its wobbly-yolked glory!  It was bloody delicious.  I had to have a little sniffle halfway through, it brought back so many childhood memories.

There's a big outdoor area that you can sit in on a nice day.  Another friend had told me about this place ages ago, having reported that she brought a group of mates and their kids here for her birthday.  She shouted them all lunch, player that she is, which ended up coming to about $35 - FOR EVERYONE.  (!)

I am dying to try the "Devon Latte".  I may be a born-and-bred Aussie, but even I don't know what that is.  I bet it involves whipped cream, a saucer with a doily and a glass with a handle.  (Google doesn't help - top result is a Mr Devon Latte from Quebec.)

Or maybe next time the "Spin Q" will be on offer.  It took me a good while to work out what the heck this is.  I think I've got it - spinach quiche!  For $2.20!!!  (Yes, that deserves three excy marks.)

I would like to quickly say that if I catch anyone bashing this joint on Urbanspoon for things like using caterer's margarine, Home Brand teabags or not having posh salt, I will give you a Chinese burn.  It is obviously not that sort of place.  Ditto any service quibbles.  The Queen doesn't like mean people, OK?

Sunshine Devonshire Tea Rooms

34 Devonshire Road, Sunshine (between the kindy and the church)

Open 10.30am-2pm Monday-Friday (last orders at 1.30pm)